7. The Way of Paradox

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider

by Monde Mdodana

The Way of The Outsider is a Way of Paradox. Our Hero must learn that even psychic regression can run to its opposite; it can be transformed into a Leap of Faith.

The tendency to keep looking backward is like being sucked back into the Waters of The Mother, where the Soul drifts in endless waves of despair. Here our Hero is at a standstill; he suffers from a paralysis of his Positive Creativity.

We can put the problem in other words and say that his Manhood suffers from an injury. For, Man wants to be just like his Creator; he wants to act to Create or assist in the Creation of something that ensures that life is furthered into the distant future. That is why they say Man is Created in the likeness and image his Creator.

Thus when he neglects to look into the distant future, when he does not act in the present to prepare a way for his Unborn Child, we are justified in asserting that his Manhood has suffered an injury.

The escape from this state of paralysis is a Journey of a thousand miles, but it is also one irrational Leap into an ocean of unknowable depths. Here our Hero has to let go of fear and disbelief; he has to let go of all his Pain.

If he does not panic and spend his energy when the tides draw him to the bosom of the Sea, if only he possesses enough Courage to let go, then the very same tides will carry him back to dry land as they return with the wind.

The Paradox of the Creator is that he Creates something out of nothing. If he Believes, our Hero can also achieve the impossible; he can "Leap" out of the Dark Waters of despair.  

The Outsider as a Working Class Hero

Working Class Hero (lyrics)

by John Lennon

As soon as you born they make you feel small

By giving you no time instead of it all

Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all

A working class his something to be

They hurt you at home when they hit you with school

They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool

Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules

A working class hero is something to be

When they tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years

Then they expect you to pick a career

When you can't really function you're so full of fear

A working class is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV

And you think you're so clever and classless and free

But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see

A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they are telling you still

But first you must learn how to smile as you kill

If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class he something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me 

Thandiswa Mazwai - "My Face Goes Here"

6. The seduction of Somagwaza

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider

by Monde Mdodana

I see Somagwaza walking alone, with the blazing Sun overhead. It was not long before he came across a river, which he had to cross in order to get to his Destination. The Water was calm; there was no turbulence. He was halfway through, when suddenly a soft wind blew and he felt something in the Water tie his legs together, so that he lost his balance. He did not sink however, but merely floated above the Water, and fell into a dream: there she was, sitting on a protruding rock in the middle of the river. She was looking away from him. She glanced over her shoulder, called his name, then looked away again. But he saw her; that brief moment was enough for him to take into his soul all the perfection of her beauty. He wanted to posses her, but he could not move his limbs. No matter how great an effort he put into it, he remained magically tied to the spot. She slid off the rock and turned to face him. Her breasts were round and firm; he could not look away from them. She spoke to him; I am Mamlambo, these Waters are my domain. He was mesmerised, expectant and terrified. "I know who you are, and why you are here", she said.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, you are here because I called you."

"No, I am here because this is where I must cross, I have to get to the Other Side." She moved closer to him, so that her breasts squeezed against his bare chest. Hot blood rushed to his Phallus. Now he could move his limbs, and discovered that he could embrace her. He took her into his arms; she was light and yielding, her skin was soft and electric. He proposed to enter her, and she smiled triumphantly and said to him: "I will give you my sex, enough of it to satisfy your every wish and desire. I will come to you, even when you call me in your dreams. Only, there is one thing that you have to do in order to have me."

"What is it? I want to have you, then I must Journey on."

"I want you to abandon your Journey and go back to your hometown. There I want you to use your Gift to found a Secret Temple for the Mothers, and be that Temple's most faithful servant. If you do this, I will exist for your pleasure, for all eternity."

"I don't have a Gift, I fail to understand you when you say 'use your Gift to found a Secret Temple'".

"You are Self-Seeking Somagwaza! You come from a long line of Gifted Fathers; the potential is there, in your Blood."

"If I have a Gift, and if I have this Gift because I am a descendant of Gifted Fathers; why should I use it to found a Secret Temple for the Mothers?"

"If you agree to do this, then I will allow you to enter me now. On top of that, I will bring you seven times seven Virgins to be your servants and playthings. All these pleasures and more will be yours, if you say 'yes' to the Mothers."

"Yes!"

She took his hand and led him to the soft grass on the bank, and there spread out her legs for him. Afterwards, he felt physically weak and inwardly guilty.

Before long he awoke to discover that he was not in the Water where he fell asleep. He remembered his dream and instantly understood why he was where he was. He approached the river with the intention of crossing it and resuming his Wandering. But he soon grew frightened because the nearer he got to the Waters, the more rough and turbulent they became.

Now I see Somagwaza talking to an old man: "Can you see things before they happen?" he asks.

"Sometimes, yes."

"You must have seen this coming then; I fail to understand why you made no attempts to stop it."

"We couldn't, we can't stop her; you're the only one who can."

"You could atleast have warned me about her."

"We had to let you make a Choice."

"So what happens now?"

"Now you have to make another Choice; will you go back to the Womb and live your life a servant of the Mothers, or will you Rise with the Sun and cross the noontide with Him, that you may rest at twilight cleansed by Struggle and full of Repose?"

"But there is too much turbulence, it would be suicide."

"The turbulence is in your mind, not in the Water. You have to learn to control the flow of you thoughts and cool your boiling Blood."

"But how . . . who will teach me?"

"It is night; make a Fire now, and lie down."

5. Existential

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider

by Monde Mdodana

X: Absolute objectivity is a false doctrine. In the quest for knowledge, the knower cannot be separated from the known. What the knower perceives is inescapably conditioned by his subjectivity.

Y: If absolute objectivity was a 'false doctrine', then there would be no science in the world.

X: There would be no science as we know it today. If we could overcome the illusion of objectivity and the 'scientific' tendency to disregard that which cannot be verified by the outward eye, then we'd develop a more wholesome way of knowing. Science would cease to be something that you do, or a state of mind that you adopt, it would be The Way you Exist.

3. Science and Myth

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider

by Monde Mdodana


I stood gazing at the Fire, and meditated on the relationship between Science and Myth; is Myth "primitive" Science, or is science "advanced" Myth?

I'd become nauseated by the dead textbook science of formal education. I dreamt of a dynamic, living Science; a Science that is conscious of its debt to Myth. 

Cape Town Central Library, Darling Street, Cape Town - 22/09/2011

My Epidemic, Your Epidemic

by Deon-Simphiwe Skade

This poem was originally published in New Coin poetry journal. It subsequently appeared in the novella, A Series of Undesirable Events. Layout and text design by Graeme Arendse.

2. The Outsider's Prayer of Submission and Triumph

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider

by Monde Mdodana


Father!
I am falling; I pray I fall into your hands,
now that it is too late to find balance.

Father!
I find myself in Flames; if I must Burn further,
I pray my glow Lights up the
House of my Ancestors!

Above all, I pray you teach me the Secret of
Letting Go.

Camagu

Ode to Moses Taiwa Molelekwa

Fabric paint on cotton - The Spirit of Taiwa (painting by Deon-Simphiwe Skade)