13. Thug Life

Reflections on The Way of The Outsider 

by uMonde iNxele

I was at maRhadebe's on Monday. She and I were in the living room discussing a short story of hers when Bra Stiqs walked in. He brought updates on the progress of our other projects, and he had a few papers with him. Bra Stiqs never ceases to emphasize the importance of papers and writing things down.

"Writing is a mystery," he'd whisper in awe-inspired tones. "The Laws that Moses was given, they were written in stone. Reading and writing are one of the things that link us to the Divine".

Just after Bra Stiqs sat down a little boy walked in. I began to notice him when he hugged Bra Stiqs, who was sitting next to me. The boy looked anxious. Then he came to me; the hug was awkward. After hugging maRhadebe he just lingered. He was not care-free and smiling but nervous, and his voice was a bit distorted by fear. It was the first day of school holidays, the Sun had risen, yet there was no urge in the boy to go and play outside. MaRhadede told him to pick up some papers in the garden and put them in the rubbish bin at the back. When the boy disappeared, She delivered a discourse on the importance of a stern upbringing.

After a while, the boy returned and just hung around. He asked if he could watch television. I felt like shouting "run, run from here! Go outside and play in the Sun!"

The matter refused to leave my mind; what bothered me most was the awkward hug. The hug itself is not the problem; the problem is that it was not spontaneous as an expression of affection. I felt that his hug was not an inclination arising from his vital centre but a habit drilled in through the head. It is part of the discipline at home to hug everyone present when you walk into the house.

From the point of view of classical Psychoanalysis, the boy is in the "latency phase" of psycho-sexual development. Psychoanalysis is a psychological science that endeavours to shed Light on Unconscious human behaviour. The "latency phase" of development is roughly around the time of primary school. The boy "acquires culturally regarded skills and values. The child has evolved from a baby with primitive drives to a reasonable human being with complex feelings like shame, guilt and disgust".*

From the point of view of Erich Fromm's brand of Psychoanalysis, the submissive anxiety in the boy is a sign that in his struggle to become what he is, he has been defeated by parental authority. The anxiety is not an Unconscious objection to the order to hug, because the hug itself is not traumatic. Rather, the anxiety arises out of the Conscious or Unconscious realization that parental authority is absolute. Even if he doesn't feel like hugging he has to hug, because it's family rules. The other side of the struggle to become what one is is the struggle not to become what one is not, and this involves not giving a hug if one doesn't feel like giving a hug.

Those that are familiar with the philosopher, Tupac Shakur, know that for him THUG LIFE was an acronym for The Hate U Gave Little Infants Fucked Everyone. His point was that you have a recipe for a psychic disaster when children are defeated by parental authority in the struggles to become what they are. When the will of the child is broken and replaced by the will of parental authority you get defeated children at best. At worst, society will have to be prepared for Thug Life.

Reference: * en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latency_stage