Reflections

by Phumzile Kepe

In front of the mirror,

Reflections of my bitter upbringing

rising like vapour, invading my mind

covering it with a blanket of dark clouds,

which invokes inner anger.

I find my lips flooding with tears,

Meditation of those dreadful years.

I hold myself as much as I can,

For it ain’t easy being a man.

Xhosa men are taught never to cry,

So I pretend to be strong,

Although that seems wrong…

In your eyes of-course, But hold on…

Tupac once asked,

“who do you know, that stops that long

To help another carry on?”

I guess nobody but GOD.

I am a living witness of his existence,

My presence is indeed a testimony of his greatness.

People will make fun of your weakness,

Use it to send you into the valleys of darkness.

Family-members will hire you a hearse,

Even quote you a verse

While you still have full functionality of your legs

And not yet breathless.

Don’t give credence to the nonsense,

They whisper in your ears,

That you’ll never go far in life because you are an arse.

They drain the confidence in you to make you hopeless,

Fill your mind with nonsense because they fear your intelligence.

Take it from me friends,

My mother has sistrens and brethrens.

Same blood in their veins,

But they only get together for traditions

And never random visits.

Blood is thicker than water they say,

But in searching for answers

I found myself stumbling on the way.

I trust nobody but GOD

BUT I never FAIL to LOVE.